1. When you are short on quality, add quantity. Never leave blank space. Most people just flip through this stuff. As long as there is content there, they'll skip right over it.
2. Always use a thesaurus. When someone actually does decide to read it, remember that there are certain words that are more impressive than others. Critical is better than important, and proficiency is better than expertness.
3. Stay on top of the latest consulting buzzwords. Deliverables full of consulting buzzwords are more impressive than inventive and usable ideas and concepts. Use these terms as often as possible: best practice, core competencies, gainsharing, paradigm, segments, value chain, customer centricity. Wikipedia's buzzword page is also a good place to add even more to your deliverable. My article about business jargon may also help.
4. Copy previous documents. Never start a deliverable from scratch. Search endlessly on internal Sharepoint sites, internal search engines or knowledge sharing sites for a similar project. First order of business is to do a Replace All. Make sure to update the project name in the document. This usually gives you about 5-10 days of doing nothing. If someone asks you to see the progress you've made, send them what you've got. You may end up impressing someone and you haven't done sh!t.
5. Visio Diagrams. It doesn't even matter what it is. Plop 5 different shaped boxes on the document, give them nonsensical labels, provide a topical title and you're a genius. Make sure to include arrows. Partners love arrows.
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