How to be a good consultant

1. When you are short on quality, add quantity. Never leave blank space. Most people just flip through this stuff. As long as there is content there, they'll skip right over it.

2. Always use a thesaurus. When someone actually does decide to read it, remember that there are certain words that are more impressive than others. Critical is better than important, and proficiency is better than expertness.

3. Stay on top of the latest consulting buzzwords. Deliverables full of consulting buzzwords are more impressive than inventive and usable ideas and concepts. Use these terms as often as possible: best practice, core competencies, gainsharing, paradigm, segments, value chain, customer centricity. Wikipedia's buzzword page is also a good place to add even more to your deliverable. My article about business jargon may also help.

4. Copy previous documents. Never start a deliverable from scratch. Search endlessly on internal Sharepoint sites, internal search engines or knowledge sharing sites for a similar project. First order of business is to do a Replace All. Make sure to update the project name in the document. This usually gives you about 5-10 days of doing nothing. If someone asks you to see the progress you've made, send them what you've got. You may end up impressing someone and you haven't done sh!t.

5. Visio Diagrams. It doesn't even matter what it is. Plop 5 different shaped boxes on the document, give them nonsensical labels, provide a topical title and you're a genius. Make sure to include arrows. Partners love arrows.

Rules for the office

List of words with disputed pronunciations

Random FYI for the day

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_words_of_disputed_pronunciation

Bringing back the game of dominoes

I've resurrected the game of dominoes, so here is the breakdown of the strategy.

Basic Dominoes Strategy

Keep Your Hand Varied
You don’t always have much choice in which dominoes you hold in your hand. But you should attempt to keep as many different pip values as possible in your hand. Doing so will give you the greatest amount of flexibility when your turn comes around.

Play Doubles When You Can
Because doubles can be played only on one number instead of two, they’re twice as difficult to get rid of as nondouble tiles. Never pass up the opportunity to play a double when you can.

Don’t Hold High-Value Tiles
A dominoes game can end at any moment, so try not to hold onto tiles that have a large number of pips, as those tiles will give you a much higher score if your opponent goes out. For example, it’s far better to have a one-blank (worth only 1 point) than a five-six (worth 11 points) at the end of a game.

Stitch Up the Ends
Whenever possible, use your turn to make both ends of a chain have the same pip value, which can limit your opponents’ ability to play any tiles. This strategy, called stitching up, can be a strong defensive move.

Source: Quamut.com

Educational article of the week

Rules for making a good impression - respond to emails within 24 hours

http://www.businessweek.com/smallbiz/content/apr2007/sb20070425_158557.htm?campaign_id=rss_topStories

How to create a ninja mask

List of Rubbermaid products with and without BPA

http://www.rubbermaid.com/rubbermaid/bpa-info.jhtml#FAQ

Wedding cake rental

The economy is in the dumps and weddings cost a lot of money.

Solution: Wedding cake rental

http://cakerental.com/

Rent foam covered with fondant to show your guests. Serve your guests slab cake hidden in the kitchen.

Top 10 recession proof careers

http://en.50plus.com/Employment/BrowseArticles/index.cfm?documentID=21832

#1 - Sales Representative

Guide to bonsai

This is for MK. I'm experimenting on growing bonsai, so here's a good resource. In short cut off (prune) the top of the tree and the main root

http://www.bonsaiprimer.com/main.html#Index